ok.. whenjoeyishigh
why did i start this blog? what is its purpose? how does it serve me? how can blogging help me?
these are some of the thoughts running through my mind when i am hoping to impress a future reader (doubtful, even if you include myself).
i just started this blog to tell myself, to remind myself what i do when i'm high. what are my wishes, what do i think, what do i wish to happen, my daily routines. what i consider evil? what do i think about people? all these sought of rubbish questions which just flit through your mind when you are actually thinking.
i often think about meditation. but during one of my earlier highs, my good friend had recommended me not to close my eyes or just lie back. This would cause dizzyness. and i guess he must have been right, because he told just after i threw up... and that was one glorious one! so what happens is, my wishes to proceed onto meditation, takes on a fight in the abstract with my mind. here remains people who claim that will power can move rocks (when you consider rocks of a bigger dimension, where you would require superman and batmans bat mobiles fire power together!) thats a big rock my good fellas.
so, my mind wins and i just fall afraid to close my eyes. except for the occasional one where my body invites me to the peaceful world of sleep. of depth of silence which cannot be imagined when one is awake in the very basic of senses. total and absolute surrender, that is what deep sleep is. how many of you would be willing to surrender absolutely and completely?
i will write this blog only when i am high. and when i am alone or feel lonely which is often when i'm high. the brain allowed to perform and function at its peak. utilising a good lot of that 100%!
i dont say a 100% because some actions can be overidden so easily, that it doesnt matter that it was in place at the very first.
to me, life is a sweet dream. that which comes in excessive at times and you feel like just throwing up.. but you are in the principals office and cant throw up. trying to hold on to the last vestiges of dignity.
i still havent decided what to write. i had earlier told myself that my blog would be a conversation to myself. i think that would be a wonderful idea to get rid of this writers block.
why did i start this blog? what is its purpose? how does it serve me? how can blogging help me?
these are some of the thoughts running through my mind when i am hoping to impress a future reader (doubtful, even if you include myself).
i just started this blog to tell myself, to remind myself what i do when i'm high. what are my wishes, what do i think, what do i wish to happen, my daily routines. what i consider evil? what do i think about people? all these sought of rubbish questions which just flit through your mind when you are actually thinking.
i often think about meditation. but during one of my earlier highs, my good friend had recommended me not to close my eyes or just lie back. This would cause dizzyness. and i guess he must have been right, because he told just after i threw up... and that was one glorious one! so what happens is, my wishes to proceed onto meditation, takes on a fight in the abstract with my mind. here remains people who claim that will power can move rocks (when you consider rocks of a bigger dimension, where you would require superman and batmans bat mobiles fire power together!) thats a big rock my good fellas.
so, my mind wins and i just fall afraid to close my eyes. except for the occasional one where my body invites me to the peaceful world of sleep. of depth of silence which cannot be imagined when one is awake in the very basic of senses. total and absolute surrender, that is what deep sleep is. how many of you would be willing to surrender absolutely and completely?
i will write this blog only when i am high. and when i am alone or feel lonely which is often when i'm high. the brain allowed to perform and function at its peak. utilising a good lot of that 100%!
i dont say a 100% because some actions can be overidden so easily, that it doesnt matter that it was in place at the very first.
to me, life is a sweet dream. that which comes in excessive at times and you feel like just throwing up.. but you are in the principals office and cant throw up. trying to hold on to the last vestiges of dignity.
i still havent decided what to write. i had earlier told myself that my blog would be a conversation to myself. i think that would be a wonderful idea to get rid of this writers block.
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