wow!

ok... new experience. never touched those heights safely before. the ship was just at sea and felt tumultous.

really.. who is gonna read this.. you got to feel it know what it is that is common between me and that poor poor ship. its not like it was like the titanic, but it was ship nonetheless, although poor.

it had more of a dull elegance which would classify it as of antique value. but again, what good is an antique ship at sea? it should have been retired long time back.. or fitted with retro, or maybe.. its just the men in black hiding in plain sight!
i am getting burnt out here.. arent you gonna help me?

what good is help to mankind if he is just gonna remain lonely? he is bound to survive alone. all of his skills and powers to be used for everything beside for himself. all he ever gets is that little time for pounding and again, some for self pounding!

close your eyes.. think of the one you like.. what do you see? he sexy smile.. and then what.. whoa boy! what a cleavage.. thats gonna be mine.. i wonder what colour those nipples are! im pretty sure thats a 32 and a b, can i make it bigger? what if it gets too big? look at her holding her legs so close... what will it feel like to just pry open that hatch and click that snatch?

tell me.. how would you strip a girl? that is if she just stood there telling you... fuckin strip me asshole! coz thats the only kinda girls who are gonna say strip me to us!
well..its not like stripping a boy.. remember how skimpily they are clad? of that little pieces of cloth on them.. will you move it up or move it down? or push it to one side? or just unfurl it?

looking for eternal salvation from what? a body that hides a little extra and a little less extra... maybe missing a bit.. a journey which is dynamically changing every day.. becoming more accessible each day or is it becoming more reclusive? why this urge when it remains only one sided? why do we need to ignite the fire and then wait for it to burn? and after it burns.. we have to stoke it to perfections.. or what? the fire goes out looking for a better "stoker"!

towards eternal salvation from the menace of breast and pussy, hell, wet pussies!

its just.. sell anything! there is no concept such as there is an item where you cannot close a sale! as the good man from kannur told me.. you should be able to see a mound of earth in your open palms! dont know the feasibility of that one..

vertical to you if you lie down.. means.. heads up!

i wanna sleep now! goodnight..

life and relationships

i often wonder.. what is the purpose of telling oneself that you have the freedom to choose the path of your life.. when all your life you are being controlled. a specific mindset is perfectly transferred to you. how can you choose the path of your life, when since the day you have been born, you have been guided, streamlined, intoxicated with specific ideas and ideals which are prompted and affixed in our memory as the basic guidelines for proceeding or plain living in your life. any way you prefer to defer from this chosen path, you are branded as a freak of nature. does this happen only in india? or is this a common phenomenon as i saw the african man sing to his unborn child to become a doctor. has the child to become a doctor because he wants it, or the society demands it or the family imposes it? what happens to the rest of the dreams. are today dreams and ambitions being guided as cattles are in farms to line up for milking? are we imbibing a wrong sense of hard work here? is this current scenario aiding in incubating this phenomenon?

tell me dude.. what is your real name? what do you want it to be? the one everyone is familiar with or the one you are reclusive but shamed by your actions. is it ok to hide your fakeness and fake your originality?

i realise, i should just not try to talk about one topic... but just allow my mind to flow. this is gonna take some time and training. specifically getting used to how hot my laptop is and how painful it is to lie and type :(

i'm tired now, i'm gonna sleep... i wonder what happnes if i close my eyes! will the obvious happen???

yeah.. i'm just gonna sleep... :P

whenjoeyishigh

ok.. whenjoeyishigh

why did i start this blog? what is its purpose? how does it serve me? how can blogging help me?
these are some of the thoughts running through my mind when i am hoping to impress a future reader (doubtful, even if you include myself).

i just started this blog to tell myself, to remind myself what i do when i'm high. what are my wishes, what do i think, what do i wish to happen, my daily routines. what i consider evil? what do i think about people? all these sought of rubbish questions which just flit through your mind when you are actually thinking.

i often think about meditation. but during one of my earlier highs, my good friend had recommended me not to close my eyes or just lie back. This would cause dizzyness. and i guess he must have been right, because he told just after i threw up... and that was one glorious one! so what happens is, my wishes to proceed onto meditation, takes on a fight in the abstract with my mind. here remains people who claim that will power can move rocks (when you consider rocks of a bigger dimension, where you would require superman and batmans bat mobiles fire power together!) thats a big rock my good fellas.

so, my mind wins and i just fall afraid to close my eyes. except for the occasional one where my body invites me to the peaceful world of sleep. of depth of silence which cannot be imagined when one is awake in the very basic of  senses. total and absolute surrender, that is what deep sleep is. how many of you would be willing to surrender absolutely and completely?

i will write this blog only when i am high. and when i am alone or feel lonely which is often when i'm high. the brain allowed to perform and function at its peak. utilising a good lot of that 100%!

i dont say a 100% because some actions can be overidden so easily, that it doesnt matter that it was in place at the very first.

to me, life is a sweet dream. that which comes in excessive at times and you feel like just throwing up.. but you are in the principals office and cant throw up. trying to hold on to the last vestiges of dignity.

i still havent decided what to write. i had earlier told myself that my blog would be a conversation to myself. i think that would be a wonderful idea to get rid of this writers block.